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I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, and that's not what was supposed to happen.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Made
Pay
Beyond
Willing
Mistake
Broke
Happen
Price
Law
Mistakes
Happens
Supposed
Children
Paid

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
Paula Poundstone
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The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.
Paula Poundstone
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I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
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The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
Paula Poundstone
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I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
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I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
Paula Poundstone
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I’m an atheist. The good news about atheists is that we have no mandate to convert anyone. So you’ll never find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning with a big smile saying ‘Just stopped by to tell you there is no word. I brought along this little blank book I was hoping you could take a look at.’
Paula Poundstone
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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
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Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
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I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?
Paula Poundstone
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It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
Paula Poundstone
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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Paula Poundstone
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The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Paula Poundstone
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When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
Paula Poundstone
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I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”
Paula Poundstone
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I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
Paula Poundstone
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I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
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I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
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When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
Paula Poundstone