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The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Adulthood
Definition
Definitions
Sleep

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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
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When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
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Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.
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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
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I’m an atheist. The good news about atheists is that we have no mandate to convert anyone. So you’ll never find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning with a big smile saying ‘Just stopped by to tell you there is no word. I brought along this little blank book I was hoping you could take a look at.’
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When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
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I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
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My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
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I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
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I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
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I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
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I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.
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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
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What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.
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I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
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Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
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