Quote

I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Away
Eyes
Blow
Vomit
Persons
Nice
Expected
Barbara
Ideas
Values
Hearing
Tank
Person
Actually
Mets
Tanks
Firsts
Eye
Anybody
Phrase
First
Family
Pride
Phrases
Never
Idea
Sweet
Bush
People
Use
Almost
Fallen

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

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My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
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When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
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I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
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I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
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I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
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Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
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It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
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I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
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I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me.
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Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
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The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
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I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
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I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
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I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
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When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone
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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
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I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”
Paula Poundstone