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Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Didn
Remember
Inconceivable
Adulthood
Definition
Definitions
Guess
Sleep
More quotes by Paula Poundstone
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone
When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
Paula Poundstone
I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.
Paula Poundstone
I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, āIām in the clear for at least 10 more years.ā
Paula Poundstone
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
Paula Poundstone
The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Paula Poundstone
I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me.
Paula Poundstone
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
Paula Poundstone
Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.
Paula Poundstone
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy.
Paula Poundstone
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
Paula Poundstone
I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
Paula Poundstone
I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?
Paula Poundstone