Quote

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

Paula Poundstone

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Head
Sort
Skeleton
Skeletons
Fats
Skin
Skins

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

Image
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”
Paula Poundstone
Image
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I’m an atheist. The good news about atheists is that we have no mandate to convert anyone. So you’ll never find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning with a big smile saying ‘Just stopped by to tell you there is no word. I brought along this little blank book I was hoping you could take a look at.’
Paula Poundstone
Image
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
Paula Poundstone
Image
President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?
Paula Poundstone
Image
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
Image
Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
Image
The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
Image
My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
Paula Poundstone
Image
I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
Paula Poundstone
Image
Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.
Paula Poundstone