Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Love
Limes
Pie
Proper
Although
Keys
Made
Way
Never
Lime
More quotes by Paula Poundstone
Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
Paula Poundstone
The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
Paula Poundstone
I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
Paula Poundstone
I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
Paula Poundstone
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Paula Poundstone
I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me.
Paula Poundstone
President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Paula Poundstone
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
Paula Poundstone
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
Paula Poundstone
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
Paula Poundstone
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
Paula Poundstone
I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
Paula Poundstone
I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.
Paula Poundstone
I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
Paula Poundstone
What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.
Paula Poundstone
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone
I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
Paula Poundstone
