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I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Love
Limes
Pie
Proper
Although
Keys
Made
Way
Never
Lime

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President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
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When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
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It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
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I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
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I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
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I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
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I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
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Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
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My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
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When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
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I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy.
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My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
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I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
Paula Poundstone
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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
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