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I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Think
Step
Thinking
Groups
Steps
Stop
Call
Anon
Need
Talkers
Needs
Intriguing
Going
Group

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I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
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My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
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I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
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When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
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The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.
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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
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There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
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What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.
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I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
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I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
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I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
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My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
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I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
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I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
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The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
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I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
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My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
Paula Poundstone