Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
Paula Poundstone
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Decided
Exercise
Perhaps
Bulimic
Forget
Purge
Keep
Dieting
Forgetting
Diets
Weight
More quotes by Paula Poundstone
I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
Paula Poundstone
I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy.
Paula Poundstone
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
Paula Poundstone
I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase family values and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away?
Paula Poundstone
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me.
Paula Poundstone
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone
I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.
Paula Poundstone
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Paula Poundstone
What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.
Paula Poundstone
I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
Paula Poundstone
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
Paula Poundstone
The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Paula Poundstone
The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
Paula Poundstone
I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
