Quote

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Love
Somebody
World
Takes
Land
Audience
Talking
Must
Luckiest
Something
Performer
Always
Performers

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

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I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
Paula Poundstone
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When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
Paula Poundstone
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I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.
Paula Poundstone
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I don't like sex ... I'm a single working mom with nine cats, a dog-shark, a lizard, and a bunny. I don't go to bed, I pass out. The idea that I'd get to my bed and there'd be someone in there with whom I was supposed to have an activity is horrifying to me.
Paula Poundstone
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I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone
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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Paula Poundstone
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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.
Paula Poundstone
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President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Paula Poundstone
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I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
Paula Poundstone
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I’m an atheist. The good news about atheists is that we have no mandate to convert anyone. So you’ll never find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning with a big smile saying ‘Just stopped by to tell you there is no word. I brought along this little blank book I was hoping you could take a look at.’
Paula Poundstone
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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone
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Speaking of happy successes, after years of struggling to lose those few extra pounds every mother puts on during adoption, particularly when the doctor orders bed rest, in 2004 I sent my assistant to the Gap in dark glasses with a fake ID to purchase my first pair of Easy Fit jeans.
Paula Poundstone
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I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.
Paula Poundstone
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I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.
Paula Poundstone
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I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
Paula Poundstone
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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
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I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, “I’m in the clear for at least 10 more years.”
Paula Poundstone
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Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone
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I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.
Paula Poundstone
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The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone