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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone

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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Humor
Sort
Feeling
Taken
Taxation
Funny
Wages
Death
Tired
Feelings
Taxes
Time
Sin

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
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The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
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I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.
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When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
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I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
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When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
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I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
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When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
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My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
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I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.
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It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
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I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
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I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
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I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.
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I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
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I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
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I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.
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I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.
Paula Poundstone
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I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.
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I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone