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I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.
Paula Poundstone
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Paula Poundstone
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: December 29
Actor
Author
Comedian
Pundit
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville
Alabama
Feels
Moon
Feast
Children
Path
Traveled
Needs
Head
Roof
Time
Less
Holiday
Like
Music
Thanks
Need
Laughter
Take
Grateful
Feel
Sun
More quotes by Paula Poundstone
I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.
Paula Poundstone
The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much. I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.
Paula Poundstone
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Paula Poundstone
It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.
Paula Poundstone
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone
I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
Paula Poundstone
I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, āIām in the clear for at least 10 more years.ā
Paula Poundstone
I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.
Paula Poundstone
Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
Paula Poundstone
I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.
Paula Poundstone
I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.
Paula Poundstone
The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.
Paula Poundstone
I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone
I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.
Paula Poundstone
My parents got carried away with the letter P when they were naming the kids in our family. There's me, Paula, my sisters Peggy and Patty, and my brother Pjimmy, spelled with a silent P.
Paula Poundstone
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
Paula Poundstone
When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
Paula Poundstone
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
Paula Poundstone
What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.
Paula Poundstone
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
Paula Poundstone