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I knew that I could hate him all I wanted for the way he was hurting me, but I couldn’t ever stop loving him, absolutely, for what he was.

Paula McLain

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Paula McLain
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: October 7
Author
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Fresno
California
Knew
Hurt
Stop
Hate
Ever
Hurting
Wanted
Loving
Way
Absolutely
Couldn

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Maybe happiness was an hourglass already running out, the grains tipping, sifting past each other. Maybe it was a state of mind.
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Happiness is so awfully complicated, but freedom isn't. You're either tied down or you're not.
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I'd never met anyone so vibrant or alive. He moved like light.
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Not everyone out in a storm wants to be saved
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Why is it every other person you meet says they're an artist? A real artist doesn't need to gas on about it, he doesn't have time. He does his work and sweats it out in silence, and no one can help him at all.
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And sometimes I think there isn’t anything to us but our mistakes.
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Nothing hurts if you don't let it.
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There was only today to throw yourself into without thinking about tomorrow, let alone forever. To keep you from thinking, there was liquor, an ocean's worth at least, all the usual vices and plenty of rope to hang yourself with. Love is a beautiful liar.
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My life was my life I would have to stare it down, somehow, and make it work for me.
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But when Bumby nursed, his fist clutching the fabric of my robe, his eyes soft and bottomless and locked on mine, as if I were the very heart of his universe, I couldn't help but melt into him.
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But love is love. It makes you do terribly stupid things.
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She was also incredibly confident, with a way of moving and talking that communicated that she didn't need anyone to tell her she was beautiful or worthwhile.
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Dogs are easy. If their tails are up and their eyes are soft, you're in.
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I would gladly have climbed out of my skin and into his that night, because I believed that was what love meant.
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I preferred to look at the sea, which said nothing and never made you feel alone.
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I also liked to look around at the houses surrounding the park and wonder about the people who filled them, what kinds of marriages they had and how they loved or hurt each other on any given day, and if they were happy, and whether they thought happiness was a sustainable thing.
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More and more I find myself at a loss for words and didn't want to hear other people talking either. Their conversations seemed false and empty. I preferred to look at the sea, which said nothing and never made you feel alone.
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You have to digest life. You have to chew it up and love it all through.
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Books could be an incredible adventure. I stayed under my blanket and barely moved, and no one would have guessed how my mind raced and my heart soared with stories.
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All that was left for me was a terrible kind of paralysis, this waiting game, this heartbreak game.
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