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If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.

Paul Reiser

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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Essayist
Film Actor
Film Producer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Fall
Hears
Stills
Forest
Still
Hurts
Falls
Forests
Tree
Head
Hurt

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Parents often give middle names just so that later, when they're yelling at the kid, they can drag it out. Henry David Thoreau, you come in here this instant!
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Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in.
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The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
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In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.
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I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
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A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.
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It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else
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The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
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Peanut butter and lamb chops were not foods that had ever been a significant part of our life before pregnancy. In fact, my wife almost never ate either.So where did these craving come from? I concluded it's the baby, ordering in.
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There's something very refreshing about being on stage.
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Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. This is Sleeping, right? Exactly. I just lie here? That's right. Okay. Then back to sleep they go.
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Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
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Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time.
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I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me
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The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous.
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Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
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We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
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