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Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.
Paul Reiser
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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Essayist
Film Actor
Film Producer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Never
Middle
Presidents
Like
Names
Vice
President
Distinction
Jobs
Vices
Else
Aware
Someone
Certainly
Real
Honor
Kind
Fine
More quotes by Paul Reiser
Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
Paul Reiser
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
Paul Reiser
By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.
Paul Reiser
I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
Paul Reiser
My wife and I never agree on the dishtowels. It's a matter of terms. She asks me not to put the dishtowel in the sink. So I drape it over the sink, but not in the sink. If that's our biggest problem, I think we're in good shape.
Paul Reiser
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
Paul Reiser
I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me
Paul Reiser
A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.
Paul Reiser
There's something very refreshing about being on stage.
Paul Reiser
The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
Paul Reiser
There's something that happens in that delivery room, when a woman becomes ten times more a woman, and a guy becomes six times less a man. You feel really dopey and useless and like a spectator. I did, anyway.
Paul Reiser
We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
Paul Reiser
As you get older you realize your parents don't look so dumb - and that you're not as smart as you thought you were.
Paul Reiser
Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
Paul Reiser
I'm not smart enough to write about something that didn't actually happen to me. But I couldn't write a space movie if you put a gun to my head.
Paul Reiser
It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. They can edit it and you're like, Hey, it looks like I'm playing really well. That was the fun part, but it was like going to summer camp.
Paul Reiser
Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time.
Paul Reiser
The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
Paul Reiser
We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
Paul Reiser
My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words.
Paul Reiser
