Quote

I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.

Paul Reiser

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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Essayist
Film Actor
Film Producer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Become
Center
Entertainment
Coming
Food
Wife
Juice
Fact
Breasts
Facts
Essentially
Past
Bars

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There's something very refreshing about being on stage.
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A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.
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Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
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It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else
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If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
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The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
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Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
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Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.
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But you get past that and realize you have to let go of what you think you want. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, go and be with that baby. Just play with this beautiful little boy
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The most challenging part of being a dad is trying to postpone the moment when they realize you don't know anything. I love any sentence that begins with Daddy...? because it's implied they're looking up to you - that you'll have the answer. The truth is, I don't have any answers.
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I'm not smart enough to write about something that didn't actually happen to me. But I couldn't write a space movie if you put a gun to my head.
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We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
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I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
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Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in.
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Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. This is Sleeping, right? Exactly. I just lie here? That's right. Okay. Then back to sleep they go.
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Upstate New York in the middle of October. You can't get more beautiful than that.
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The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
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The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous.
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There's something that happens in that delivery room, when a woman becomes ten times more a woman, and a guy becomes six times less a man. You feel really dopey and useless and like a spectator. I did, anyway.
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