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Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
Paul Reiser
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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Essayist
Film Actor
Film Producer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Kitchen
Dog
Food
Years
Good
Picked
More quotes by Paul Reiser
In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.
Paul Reiser
The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
Paul Reiser
The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.
Paul Reiser
Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in.
Paul Reiser
I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
Paul Reiser
We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
Paul Reiser
As you get older you realize your parents don't look so dumb - and that you're not as smart as you thought you were.
Paul Reiser
It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. They can edit it and you're like, Hey, it looks like I'm playing really well. That was the fun part, but it was like going to summer camp.
Paul Reiser
There's something very refreshing about being on stage.
Paul Reiser
Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
Paul Reiser
The most challenging part of being a dad is trying to postpone the moment when they realize you don't know anything. I love any sentence that begins with Daddy...? because it's implied they're looking up to you - that you'll have the answer. The truth is, I don't have any answers.
Paul Reiser
In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me
Paul Reiser
My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words.
Paul Reiser
I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.
Paul Reiser
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
Paul Reiser
My wife and I never agree on the dishtowels. It's a matter of terms. She asks me not to put the dishtowel in the sink. So I drape it over the sink, but not in the sink. If that's our biggest problem, I think we're in good shape.
Paul Reiser
The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous.
Paul Reiser
By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.
Paul Reiser
Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.
Paul Reiser
The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
Paul Reiser
