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In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence [We have to talk.].
Paul Reiser
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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
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Film Producer
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New York City
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More quotes by Paul Reiser
It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. They can edit it and you're like, Hey, it looks like I'm playing really well. That was the fun part, but it was like going to summer camp.
Paul Reiser
Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. This is Sleeping, right? Exactly. I just lie here? That's right. Okay. Then back to sleep they go.
Paul Reiser
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
Paul Reiser
I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me
Paul Reiser
In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me
Paul Reiser
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
Paul Reiser
Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
Paul Reiser
Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
Paul Reiser
There's something very refreshing about being on stage.
Paul Reiser
We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
Paul Reiser
I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women. Now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.
Paul Reiser
The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
Paul Reiser
My wife and I never agree on the dishtowels. It's a matter of terms. She asks me not to put the dishtowel in the sink. So I drape it over the sink, but not in the sink. If that's our biggest problem, I think we're in good shape.
Paul Reiser
A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.
Paul Reiser
In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.
Paul Reiser
I'm not smart enough to write about something that didn't actually happen to me. But I couldn't write a space movie if you put a gun to my head.
Paul Reiser
By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.
Paul Reiser
But you get past that and realize you have to let go of what you think you want. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, go and be with that baby. Just play with this beautiful little boy
Paul Reiser
Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
Paul Reiser
We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
Paul Reiser
