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Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in.

Paul Reiser

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Paul Reiser
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: March 30
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Essayist
Film Actor
Film Producer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Numbers
Week
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House
Three
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Drive

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The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.
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In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence [We have to talk.].
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The most challenging part of being a dad is trying to postpone the moment when they realize you don't know anything. I love any sentence that begins with Daddy...? because it's implied they're looking up to you - that you'll have the answer. The truth is, I don't have any answers.
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The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
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Upstate New York in the middle of October. You can't get more beautiful than that.
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Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.
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The best part of being married is... you don't have to explain a lot of things. Those wordless moments when you both know that what you witnessed together is funny, idiotic, or really sweet. Being connected is pretty miraculous.
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But you get past that and realize you have to let go of what you think you want. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, go and be with that baby. Just play with this beautiful little boy
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I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.
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Parents often give middle names just so that later, when they're yelling at the kid, they can drag it out. Henry David Thoreau, you come in here this instant!
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Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time.
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Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. This is Sleeping, right? Exactly. I just lie here? That's right. Okay. Then back to sleep they go.
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My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words.
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In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me
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If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
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Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
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We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.
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I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me
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The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
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We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
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