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If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy.

Paul Mooney

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Paul Mooney
Age: 79 †
Born: 1941
Born: August 4
Died: 2021
Died: May 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Shreveport
Louisiana
Paul Gladney
Relaxed
Hair
Happy
White
People
Nappy
Nappies

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My comedy is a nuclear bomb inside my mind. It's a weapon that's never been tested. It just blows up and flattens everybody.
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People do many things for many reasons. Sometimes, what you do you have no control over, because it's predestined. It's gonna happen in spite of you. There's nothing you can do about it.
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You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. You don't hear about Martians in Harlem.
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I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.
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You can't pick when you're touched. You can't pick the time. It just is. It's the reality. What it is, is. I can't change the past. I can only deal with the present and the future.
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The political arena is the funniest.They [politicians] are always pretending to change, but they never change. They're the best actors and actresses in the world. They've always been hilarious since the beginning of time.
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A goat's a goat. Whether you sauté or barbeque it, it's still a goat.
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The king of comedy is dead. Richard Pryor was the king of comedy. The rest of them are the king of copycats.
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Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes.
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There's no such thing as reverse racism.
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If you're happy with what you're doing, then you don't get bored.
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Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it.
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White people are very good at acting like they're not racist. They deserve an Academy Award for that.
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I have nothing to do with racism in America it was here when I got here.
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People don't want to hear the truth, they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy. And then when they get caught up in it, they start being in denial because they don't want to be wrong.
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Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.
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White people made up the n-word, they knew about racial jokes before anybody, and in their old movies and old cartoons they made fun of everybody, especially black folks. Racial jokes were not new to them.
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I love Obama because he is proof all black people don't look alike. Nobody every told me, 'Good morning, Mr. President.' We don't all look alike.
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You know who you are. If my mother is a nun and someone comes up to me and they go, 'Your mother is a prostitute.' It is not going to bother me, because I know my mother is a nun, she's not a prostitute.
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If you have money and you have fame, but you don't have any confidence in your blackness, then it's all for nothing.
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