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When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.

Paul Merton

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Paul Merton
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: July 9
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
London
England
Paul James Martin
Guys
Marvellous
Guy
Festival
Used
Festivals
Fresh
Selling
Bunch
Daily
Edinburgh
Ten
Oysters

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When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.
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Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.
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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.
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And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.
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I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10 why is this funny, and that isn't?
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In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.
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If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.
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I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.
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Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.
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I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.
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I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.
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My school days were the happiest days of my life which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
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It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection.
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Have you ever had sex with a horse?
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At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.'
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When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.
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