Quote

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Paul Merton

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Paul Merton
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: July 9
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
London
England
Paul James Martin
Air
Crash
Records
Amazed
Dentistry
Comedy
Victims
Mutilated
Hear
Badly
Toothache
Funny
Humorous
Understand
Medical
Dental
Always
Teeth
Dentist
Victim
Identified

More quotes by Paul Merton

Image
Have you ever had sex with a horse?
Paul Merton
Image
And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.
Paul Merton
Image
Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.
Paul Merton
Image
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.'
Paul Merton
Image
I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.
Paul Merton
Image
When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.
Paul Merton
Image
When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.
Paul Merton
Image
I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10 why is this funny, and that isn't?
Paul Merton
Image
In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.
Paul Merton
Image
I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.
Paul Merton
Image
Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.
Paul Merton
Image
I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.
Paul Merton
Image
If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.
Paul Merton
Image
When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.
Paul Merton
Image
I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.
Paul Merton
Image
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection.
Paul Merton
Image
My school days were the happiest days of my life which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
Paul Merton