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If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

Paul Lynde

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Paul Lynde
Age: 55 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 13
Died: 1982
Died: January 10
Character Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Mount Vernon
Ohio
Paul Edward Lynde
Celebrity
Hadn
Comedy
Probably
Become
Alcoholic
Alcoholics

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If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
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A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
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I was obsessed with being rich and famous.
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My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
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My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables,for that matter.
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My body may have been abused, but it certainly hasn't been neglected.
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Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
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If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.
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I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
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Outsiders develop humor as a defense why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
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Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
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Women are my best friends, my best audience. If I look out from the stage and see a lot of men, I know I'm in trouble
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The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.
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The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.
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I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
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I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
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A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
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I don't understand why people don't remember my name.
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I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
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I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
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