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Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Firsts
Forth
First
Jokes
Watching
Sitting
Banter
Fire
Mics
Open
Comedians
Thought
Wanna
Back
Comedian

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
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When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
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I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
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I hate all sidekicks.
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All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
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I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
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You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist.
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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.
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You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
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The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job. There's no I'm just waiting for the inspiration. They just do their jobs. They say, Let's go over the scene a few times and get it.
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
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