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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Patton Oswalt
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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Comedian
Writing
Going
Mind
Always
Branch
Branches
More quotes by Patton Oswalt
When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
Patton Oswalt
Somebody is going to find a way digitally that is just as innovative. In the end, the tools can change, but there is always someone who can think of something cool to do.
Patton Oswalt
I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
Patton Oswalt
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Patton Oswalt
I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
Patton Oswalt
I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.
Patton Oswalt
Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
Patton Oswalt
What I'm realizing as I get older is that a movie's mainstream success is just as unpredictable as a movie's cult success. Plenty of movies that are truly odd and deserve cults, don't have cults. It's just as much of a crapshoot to be a cult hit as it is to be a mainstream success. Isn't that weird?
Patton Oswalt
I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
Patton Oswalt
I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown... I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person.
Patton Oswalt
Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
Patton Oswalt
Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
Patton Oswalt
If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.
Patton Oswalt
Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
Patton Oswalt
I'm such a bookworm, and I'm such a people-watcher. It took the Internet a while to catch on in Ireland, because the culture there is, you go to the pub and talk to people there, and that's how you get the news and all the gossip. You just do it face to face. And culturally, you just couldn't understand.
Patton Oswalt
You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
Patton Oswalt
The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job. There's no I'm just waiting for the inspiration. They just do their jobs. They say, Let's go over the scene a few times and get it.
Patton Oswalt
I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.
Patton Oswalt
Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
Patton Oswalt
We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
Patton Oswalt
