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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Creative
Sometimes
Groupies
Way
Groupie
People
Knock
Wood
Artistic
Woods
Tend

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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
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I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. And again, I'm not going, I've got to become a dramatic actor now. I just want more interesting jobs. I just want to keep doing stuff that's different.
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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
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To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
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Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
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You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were - that I kind of caught up in a hurry.
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
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90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
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I'm such a bookworm, and I'm such a people-watcher. It took the Internet a while to catch on in Ireland, because the culture there is, you go to the pub and talk to people there, and that's how you get the news and all the gossip. You just do it face to face. And culturally, you just couldn't understand.
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I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown... I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person.
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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
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