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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Dangerous
Dark
Comedian
Tells

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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I'm such a bookworm, and I'm such a people-watcher. It took the Internet a while to catch on in Ireland, because the culture there is, you go to the pub and talk to people there, and that's how you get the news and all the gossip. You just do it face to face. And culturally, you just couldn't understand.
Patton Oswalt
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I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.
Patton Oswalt
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Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice?
Patton Oswalt
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Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
Patton Oswalt
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
Patton Oswalt
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Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
Patton Oswalt
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I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. And again, I'm not going, I've got to become a dramatic actor now. I just want more interesting jobs. I just want to keep doing stuff that's different.
Patton Oswalt
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What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
Patton Oswalt
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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Patton Oswalt
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You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
Patton Oswalt
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
Patton Oswalt
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
Patton Oswalt
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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.
Patton Oswalt
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The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job. There's no I'm just waiting for the inspiration. They just do their jobs. They say, Let's go over the scene a few times and get it.
Patton Oswalt
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People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
Patton Oswalt
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
Patton Oswalt
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I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.
Patton Oswalt
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
Patton Oswalt
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Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Patton Oswalt
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You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist.
Patton Oswalt