Quote

Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.

Patton Oswalt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Comedian
Tells
Dangerous
Dark

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

Image
I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
Patton Oswalt
Image
I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
Patton Oswalt
Image
I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
Patton Oswalt
Image
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt
Image
It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were - that I kind of caught up in a hurry.
Patton Oswalt
Image
This sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.
Patton Oswalt
Image
To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
Patton Oswalt
Image
I look pretty nondescript. I don't go out of my way to... I don't express my personality with my clothes, with my car or my, you know, house. I express with my personality so as far as what I wear - I don't really care about that.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
Patton Oswalt
Image
As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
Patton Oswalt
Image
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
Patton Oswalt
Image
When you act, you're being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It's very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they're doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
Patton Oswalt
Image
We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
Patton Oswalt
Image
I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
Patton Oswalt
Image
Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
Patton Oswalt