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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Comedian
Tells
Dangerous
Dark

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
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I hate all sidekicks.
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
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Somebody is going to find a way digitally that is just as innovative. In the end, the tools can change, but there is always someone who can think of something cool to do.
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The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
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Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice?
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I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.
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Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
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You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
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Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
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It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
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Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
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All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
Patton Oswalt
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I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
Patton Oswalt
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
Patton Oswalt