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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Dark
Comedian
Tells
Dangerous

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.
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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
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Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
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It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were - that I kind of caught up in a hurry.
Patton Oswalt
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
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I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
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If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.
Patton Oswalt
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
Patton Oswalt
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I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown... I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person.
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
Patton Oswalt
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All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
Patton Oswalt
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What I'm realizing as I get older is that a movie's mainstream success is just as unpredictable as a movie's cult success. Plenty of movies that are truly odd and deserve cults, don't have cults. It's just as much of a crapshoot to be a cult hit as it is to be a mainstream success. Isn't that weird?
Patton Oswalt
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
Patton Oswalt
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The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
Patton Oswalt
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You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
Patton Oswalt
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There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that.
Patton Oswalt
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Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
Patton Oswalt
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
Patton Oswalt