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Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Going
Neophyte
Work
Treated
Always
Stand
Like
Acting
Jobs
Didn
Ever
Hard

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Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
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You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
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You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
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If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.
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You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
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Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
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Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
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When you act, you're being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It's very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they're doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded.
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I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
Patton Oswalt
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
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People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
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I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
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