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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Gay
Accept
Accepting
Bathe
Need
Hippies
Needs
Shave
Gays
Hippie
Conservatives

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Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
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You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
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Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
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There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that.
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People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
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What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
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You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
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The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job. There's no I'm just waiting for the inspiration. They just do their jobs. They say, Let's go over the scene a few times and get it.
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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
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Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
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I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.
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I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
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