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Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Full
Hate
Meal
Meals

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
Patton Oswalt
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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
Patton Oswalt
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Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
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I hate all sidekicks.
Patton Oswalt
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I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown... I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person.
Patton Oswalt
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I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
Patton Oswalt
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
Patton Oswalt
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
Patton Oswalt
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
Patton Oswalt
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Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Patton Oswalt
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The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once that hour is solidified and recorded, I move on.
Patton Oswalt
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
Patton Oswalt
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
Patton Oswalt
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You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
Patton Oswalt
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This sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.
Patton Oswalt
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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
Patton Oswalt
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Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
Patton Oswalt
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
Patton Oswalt
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I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
Patton Oswalt
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I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
Patton Oswalt