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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Completely
Mutant
Hair
Mutants
Team
Douglas
Actually
Wallets
Sound
Chain
Anything
Chains
Better
Thanks
Like
Horrible
Frosted

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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
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I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
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Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
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Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
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It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
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There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that.
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Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
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Everything we have today that's cool comes from someone wanting more of something they loved in the past. Action figures, videogames, superhero movies, iPods: All are continuations of a love that wanted more.
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It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were - that I kind of caught up in a hurry.
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Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
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What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
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To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
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The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
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You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early '90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there's nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they're not interested in.
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
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Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be.
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
Patton Oswalt