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I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Anything
Staff
Writing
Hung
Good
Room
Writer
Rooms
Peanut
Fact
Fingerprints
Times
Peanuts
Facts
Butter

More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
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Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
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I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. And again, I'm not going, I've got to become a dramatic actor now. I just want more interesting jobs. I just want to keep doing stuff that's different.
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Everything we have today that's cool comes from someone wanting more of something they loved in the past. Action figures, videogames, superhero movies, iPods: All are continuations of a love that wanted more.
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I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.
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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
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I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
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Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice?
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
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What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
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Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
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Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
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All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
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There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that.
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Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
Patton Oswalt