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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Conversation
Friends
Every
People
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More quotes by Patton Oswalt

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Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
Patton Oswalt
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I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.
Patton Oswalt
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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt
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The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once that hour is solidified and recorded, I move on.
Patton Oswalt
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I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. And again, I'm not going, I've got to become a dramatic actor now. I just want more interesting jobs. I just want to keep doing stuff that's different.
Patton Oswalt
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Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
Patton Oswalt
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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
Patton Oswalt
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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
Patton Oswalt
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
Patton Oswalt
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Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
Patton Oswalt
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You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
Patton Oswalt
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This sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.
Patton Oswalt
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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Patton Oswalt
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It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
Patton Oswalt
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
Patton Oswalt
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The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to have followers, especially if you want to sell albums, promote shows, or promote your friends, but you still need to get outside and talk to other human beings.
Patton Oswalt
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
Patton Oswalt
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I hate all sidekicks.
Patton Oswalt
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When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
Patton Oswalt
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The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job. There's no I'm just waiting for the inspiration. They just do their jobs. They say, Let's go over the scene a few times and get it.
Patton Oswalt