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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Function
Body
Weirdly
Unhealthy
Functions
Aware
Exactly

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When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
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You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.
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Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
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I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.
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All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
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We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
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I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
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I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.
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What I'm realizing as I get older is that a movie's mainstream success is just as unpredictable as a movie's cult success. Plenty of movies that are truly odd and deserve cults, don't have cults. It's just as much of a crapshoot to be a cult hit as it is to be a mainstream success. Isn't that weird?
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I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
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I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
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Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.
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If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home.
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My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
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There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that.
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I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
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