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We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
Patton Oswalt
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Patton Oswalt
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 27
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Patton Peter Oswalt
Patton P. Oswalt
Humanity
Alive
Evil
Long
Would
Inherently
Eaten
More quotes by Patton Oswalt
I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
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Everything we have today that's cool comes from someone wanting more of something they loved in the past. Action figures, videogames, superhero movies, iPods: All are continuations of a love that wanted more.
Patton Oswalt
One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.
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As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.
Patton Oswalt
I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.
Patton Oswalt
We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
Patton Oswalt
What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.
Patton Oswalt
If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
Patton Oswalt
When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
Patton Oswalt
I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
Patton Oswalt
To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
Patton Oswalt
Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
Patton Oswalt
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice?
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I hate all sidekicks.
Patton Oswalt
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Patton Oswalt
I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
Patton Oswalt
I look pretty nondescript. I don't go out of my way to... I don't express my personality with my clothes, with my car or my, you know, house. I express with my personality so as far as what I wear - I don't really care about that.
Patton Oswalt
All the truly great stand-ups say, I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work. To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
Patton Oswalt
Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
Patton Oswalt