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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Heart
Iowa
Angeles
Land
Part
Body
Human
Humans
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen