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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Bars
Corners
Street
Streets
Change
Come
People
Hey
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
Pat Paulsen
We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
Pat Paulsen
Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen