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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
President
Everything
Tinker
Presidents
Mess
Tend

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
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I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
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It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
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Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen