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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Streets
Moose
Spot
Spots
Necessity
Gun
Street
Walking
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
Pat Paulsen
The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
Pat Paulsen
Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
Pat Paulsen
If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen