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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Spot
Spots
Necessity
Gun
Street
Walking
Streets
Moose
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
Pat Paulsen
Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen