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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Right
Wing
Wings
Bird
Neither
Middle
Left

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
Pat Paulsen
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
Pat Paulsen
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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
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Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
Pat Paulsen
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen