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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Middle
Left
Right
Wing
Wings
Bird
Neither

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
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Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
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It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
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Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
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All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen