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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Future
Always
Ahead
Lies
Lying
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
Pat Paulsen
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
Pat Paulsen
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
Pat Paulsen
All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
Pat Paulsen
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen