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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Government
Mail
Federal
Service
Lose
Loses
Millions
Half
Postal
Running
Spends

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
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Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
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All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen