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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Millions
Half
Postal
Running
Spends
Government
Mail
Federal
Service
Lose
Loses

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
Pat Paulsen
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
Pat Paulsen
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It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
Pat Paulsen
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen