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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Loses
Millions
Half
Postal
Running
Spends
Government
Mail
Federal
Service
Lose

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
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It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
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All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
Pat Paulsen
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen