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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Deep
Happen
Happens
Shallow

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
Pat Paulsen
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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
Pat Paulsen
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
Pat Paulsen
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen