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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Shallow
Deep
Happen
Happens

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
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On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
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Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
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Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
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All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
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Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
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We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen