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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Standards
Upped

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
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We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
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Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
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It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen