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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
Pat Paulsen
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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Upped
Standards
More quotes by Pat Paulsen
The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
Pat Paulsen
Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.
Pat Paulsen
All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
Pat Paulsen
A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
Pat Paulsen
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.
Pat Paulsen
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.
Pat Paulsen
I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen