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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.

Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 6
Died: 1997
Died: April 24
Actor
Comedian
South Bend
Washington
Patrick Layton Paulsen
Upped
Standards

More quotes by Pat Paulsen

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Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.
Pat Paulsen
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Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
Pat Paulsen
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Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Pat Paulsen
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
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If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?
Pat Paulsen
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I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
Pat Paulsen
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Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
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I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
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Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
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They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!
Pat Paulsen
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The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
Pat Paulsen
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You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
Pat Paulsen
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People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
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The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
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Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.
Pat Paulsen
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I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
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Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.
Pat Paulsen
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Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen
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I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Pat Paulsen
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I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen